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  • kendall emmert

Bitterness Revealed

Updated: Dec 28, 2020

Your brazen, brash, blunt

words echo

through the sealed cavern, rousing ancient pain,

fracturing fortified walls with a wicked whisper,

bouncing through darkness.

Miniscule dust storms raging,

delicate stones had sealed the passage with

hope, faith, determination, intentional forgiveness . . .

now destroyed.

Harsh words stirring the slightest bits of loosed sediment:

sentiments of old.

Tears of a teenager

turned crystals

of adulthood through which all is seen distorted, confused;

carried and weighted with years, pressing

layers into foundations of kingdoms

built upon sins

of fathers.

Quaking bedrock, footing forgotten, falling . . .

bracing for the bottom of black, bleak,

barren spaces once safe,

no longer secure.

“I will remember your sins no more . . .”

Willful. Deliberate. Choice.

Quit remembering.

Knees on stones, begging for meekness:

controlled strength to seal the cavern.

Once. Again.

🎚In this poem, I am processing my deepest hurt, inflicted upon me by someone else; I'm trying to explain how easily I fall back on anger, sadness, deep confusion—my demand for justice and recognition of my pain and what it has cost me.

"Meekness involves bearing the sins of others and absorbing the injuries they inflict. It is the only hope we have of breaking the otherwise unending cycle of retaliation" (Colin Smith, Momentum). What is it like to bear the sins of others? Are those "others" still in your life? How does that process look? Write a poem or story about a trigger that takes you straight back to the place you're trying to heal.

🎚When Jesus said, "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine," (Matt. 26:39, NLT) He did not want to follow through with the plan. He did not WANT to die. He did not want the humiliation and absolute pain coming his way. This is the most intense definition of meekness, of controlled strength, that I can see in human history. Can you see him? Bent over on the ground, begging for another option? If you were there on that damp night, in an olive grove, how would you respond to Him, knowing how your own life has been impacted by His willingness to go through with it? Describe the scene and include the dialogue between you and Him.

🎚Re-write a true story in your life where you were hurt by someone else's outburst, need to control, or abuse. Change their behavior and their character to be an example of meekness, and how that story may have changed the outcome and/or the damage that wasn't inflicted. What about you? Write about your own failure to be meek and how the outcome caused damage to people around you.

🎚Write about a personal experience when you begged God for another outcome. What was your own experience with meekness when the outcome you wanted didn't happen?

🎚Meekness is strength brought under control. Like a wild horse tamed for a higher purpose. Sketch, draw, or paint a definition of meekness.

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